How's it going?

How many people have come up to and asked you "How's it going?" Many I'm sure? It's just whenever we say that we always seem to respond the same way. Good. Thanks for you're life story, it was beautiful. It seems we don't tend to open up to each other and I wonder why? Is it because we don't trust one another? Is it because we don't want to worry others? Is it because we think we can cope on our own? I've always wondered why people keep to themselve. Me being the out-going person I am, am always happy to share my problems as well as listen to them. I guess being one of the only people on the other side of the fence, it's kinda hard to see especialy if our neighbors board up every inch of their fence....I just happen to be very curious and well I don't cross the fence, my neighbor comes to me after awhile and realizes that I mean no harm to their yard or house and soon we're inviting each other over for dinner alternating days! haha wonderful metephor don't you think? Well what brought this on is the fact that I have people ask me all the time "How's it going?" and with that I never reply "good" I always reply with something different everyay according to my mood. "I'm ok i suppose" "I'm horrible" "I've been better, but i've been worse" Lately its horrible. He's where I go to open up my side of the story like always. Story time!: Starters. It's a new year yes? And I told you about my friend who thought I was joking yes? Yes. Well She broke up with the guy I liked to give me a chance. He asked me out that day and I was so happy. We went out for 2 weeks, then he told me he was leaving at the end of the year for ohio. We just wanted to make the most of our time together. A couple of days later he tells me that he lied about liking me at first, but later he really did start to like me. That really hurt O.o. Someone tried to convince me he was cheating on me (Which he wasn't) and within that timespan someone created a nasty rumor about me, saying that I was going to break up with him, and that I had kissed someone that wasn't him. That went on then the next week it was like it never happend. We hung out and had a blast because we have fun just talking. He was also in freshmen guys choir. Perfect right? Well he started ignoring me, because he thought of breaking up with me but decided against it. Then he ignored me again because his friend died and he was getting suspended for something he didn't do. He appologized for being suspended because he was doing something stupid. He also appologized because his mom was taking him back to ohio the next week. Ouchie. We had been dating for a month and 2 weeks. He left and then decided to not contact me until the 3rd day of him being gone and then break up with me via text message. He didn't have the guts to call me. He's adjusting and that's what makes me happy. I cried a lot over that.....now I have a failing grade in world geography because I didn't turn in 1 map. Then I need to boost my geometry grade. I need to be elligible for Choir to go to contest because I know I'm a strong voice and great sight-reader. Anyway I've had many guys ask me out since they found out i was single, and I told them that I needed time to heal. It's been a week and I'm being yelled at for not having gotten over my ex within that span because it's apprently not at their pace. I'm losing guy friends over this? They weren't my friends to begin with i suppose....... It just hurts to lose a friend you know? *sigh* But enough about me....How's it going?

Total Disaster

Ah things havent been to good at school. Lots of homework and too many things to deal with. Public school is so different. Way more people which will include more problems. The friends I've made there don't seem to understand what peace and quiet is. They always ask me questions and continuously talk to me. I wonder if any of my old friends came to this school if they would do the same. My friends look to me for advice, help, and even permission for certain things. I'm basicaly a mother figure to them and its killing me because I already have stress of my own. To top it off they ask me some pretty unintelligent questions. In class they ask me how to do things without having read the directions. After they read them they still ask me how things are done. *sigh* I've made a bunch of friends, which means half of them don't get along with the other half because I have a very diverse personality that a diverse group of people all satisfy. Don't think I've forgotten about all of my old friends from WCS (You know who you are). I still try to stay in contact because they relieve my stress. To add on I didn't know that I could be pretty or cool or funny until i had 5 to 6 different guys ranging from freshmen to seniors ask me out. The sad thing is I don't like them. Plus i really don't need a boyfriend right now. It won't help. That is until I met this one guy at my school whom we simply call Ninja. Ive had a crus on him since school started. Well he had a girlfriend so i let him be happy and just settled for a friend. I just recently found out he was single as of a couple of days ago. I told a good friend of mine that I liked him. This morning I found out she started to date him right after 1st period. She thought I was joking about liking him. Why is it that stuff relationship wise for me never turns out right? Oh well. I can find someone else I hope :( On the other hand I have a lot of school work from pre ap classes. then more stress when I'm in AP classes next year. I have to worry about semester exams next week (I miss private school's schedual for that) And My project for pre ap english that i don't even think my partners are going to help with.......*sigh* on top of that this christmas was the first one where my parents were seperated. and I spent new years with just my dad and my brother never came home. I found him the next day and I was mad. Not a very good start to 2010.....But I vow to make the most of this year and to be a better person completely. That was my resolution. On a lighter note (just random info) My brother and I used to make fun of restless leg syndrome because we didn't think it was real....Ironic that I happen to have it and take medicine for it now ._. XD funny stuff man, funny stuff. Anyway I'm gonna wrap it up. May God bless your new year and may you have the best of luck.

Well...hmmm

It's been how long since my last post 0_o. amazing. Aaaaanywho, My birthday was a week and 4 days ago. It wasn't too great but hey! I didn't ask for anything. Although some of my new friends from J. Frank Dobie High bought me gifts even though it was strictly against my birthday rules. One of the gifts was a home made braclet from my friend Shea. I really like it :) well I was walking through the hallway with it on. It got caught on my purse. I struggled with it for a while somehow never hitting the people in the crowded hallway. My friend asked me if i wanted help but I refused. As I still fiddled with my braclet I heard someone yell "Look out!" And BAM! I hit my head on the metal seperator thats inbetween the hallway doors. A loud smacking sound was emitted from the crash. I looked amazed and walked around it. I was a bit dizzy but it didn't hurt even though it sounded like it did. I started laughing a bit and my friend asked if i was alright. I was fine. That my friends is my epic fail of the month. Moving on! I'm in only 2 Pre AP classes even though I should be in all Pre AP because I think public school dumbs down the curriculum a bit. I'm making good grades which is weird....I usually make great grades....Maybe it's because I'm stressing over my mom and my brother, as well as school work mixed with my friend problems. On the up side My Pre AP english classmates look up to me even though they don't know my name. they call me "deep girl" because I look at things in many ways and respond with a well thought about and insightful answer. Pre AP Geometry is where I'm falling behind but I'm catching up. As for my social status, I ccouldnt care less about what anybody at the school thinks because I'm happy with who I am. I do however get really angry when people judge me and they don't even know me. Some people from my P.E class do that a lot. Aside from that every guy I meet at that school that becomes my friend is too clingy >_< They follow me around and text or call me waaaaaay too often and it scares me 0_o. I guess I'm just used to everyone knowing me at WCS and not having the need to ask me all sorts of questions. I'm not all that interesting anyway :P I do miss WCS though. I miss The teachers and my friends. (If you're reading this Coach Hawley then in specificly I miss you! :P) I still text and call my old friends but I think I miss them way more than they miss me. I just hope they don't forget about me. Well that's all I have for the update. I've learned from highschool that you should never overstress. Its bad for you! Never forget those important to you. DON'T PROCRASTINATE! :P

Don't You Forget About Me. Don't Don't Don't Don't. Don't You Forget About Me
As you walk on by, Will you call my name? As you walk on by, Will you call my name? When you walk away.
Don't You Forget About Me. Don't Don't Don't Don't. Don't You Forget About Me- Don't You forget about me- Simple Minds

Music of the soul

Ok so today is my last day of summer. I tried to enjoy it. I spent part of my day with one of my skater friends. Then I spent some time with my mom :) But That's not what I wanted to talk about. I have a huge collection of cds. I just pop one in and listen to whatever comes on. The one that hit me the most and actualy made me scream is called Blurry by Puddle of Mud. This one usualy strikes me the most because one of my best friends, Cody Rowe, loves this song. a while ago maybe in either 6th or 5th grade, Cody and I started to talk and he brought up that song. He said he really loved it and told me to listen to it. The next day I did. I really did love the song. The best part is through 3 years I still love that song and mainly remember it because it reminds me of Cody. Cody's always been important to me which makes the value of the song increase 10x. Its amazing how certain things make you react because of what theyre connected to. I always connect my music to my friends but I think my connection with this song and Cody is the strongest one I have. I just think it's really cool and I hope Cody reads this :) YOUR ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS CODY! haha anyway

Please Pray for:

My family who is going through so much

Matthew Fabian (to heal up)

Every Freshmen going to have their first day tomorrow (including me :D)

For Meagan and the babies in Africa

And last but certainly not least Coach Hawleys Faith :)

THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!

GRRR! Ive been improving my vocals all summer (thats not the frustrating part) So ive been singing gospels that ive learned that are meant to be sung a cappella (no instrumentls just saprano alto tenor and bass vocals) And I never learned the name of the singers :( I really want to go buy a cd by the ones that i first heard of :o. The first song I heard that was sung a cappella was called running just to catch myself but it was like a school re-endishen by an a cappella group that visited WCS. Its also heard on the 6th grade (2007) graduation video at the end. I happend to suggest that song to Mrs.Tinkler and she put it in there :D I was so happy when I heard it. But I'm so frustrated because I can't figure out who they are. I'll i've got are the lyrics that I learned and the music from the graduation dvd. I wish I had more to go on. I really could use some help figuring out who they are because I really love their music. and it could help improve my vocals a lot. The best way that i improve my singing is by singing hymns and gospels that ive learned and evaluate what Ive done like my posture, my breathing, my vowel sounds, my pitch ect. all I've got for now is the songs that Ive grown up with. I just wish I knew who they were ._.

A good way to see things

I didn't have to great of a day today but I guess it's ok. I mean I felt like my friends didn't want me around and it kinda brought me down. I felt rejected. But you know theres always a positive side to the same story. I started to hang out with some of the younger kids that are my friends. I hung out in the choir room and saw them progress. It makes me happy to see how much theyve grown. I guess they kinda looked up to me. And to see them still enjoying their life and having a great time makes me think that they learned maybe a little bit of something from me. I was always upbeat and making jokes and smiling in school and I guess thats just a little bit contangeous. I cant take all the credit though. They also choose to be that way which is great. Im actually really proud of them. I hope they continue to use that same attitude throughout the whole school year. As for my older friends...well The ones that are the same age as me kinda didn't want me around. Where as others were a little bit more accepting. I have a friend at WCS thats a Junior and he looks out for me. Its really cool because I do the same for him. I really do miss my friends and teachers but I have so many more oppertunities at mt new school (Dobie). I wanted to persue my dreams and since I love my friends a lot they know I'm going to stay in contact with them. I needed to persue my dreams and the choir at Dobie is my shot. If I can I may even compete with them and that would make me really happy. As for other aspects of my life? Well I can handle them. I've got a lot of people looking out for me and thats the great part. No matter how many trials I go through I know there are people there for me. And of course God is always there to back me up. I get knocked down, but i get up again! Ain't nothing gonna keep me down :)

Appologizing and Forgiving

*sigh* my life can completely change within a week....Did you know that? Realizing that having the power to forgive is not something that should be overlooked. Being able to forgive makes you just as strong as someone who will admit what they have done and appologize. I don't know why but yesterday i told my ex (the one thats been bugging me) that I was sorry for any trouble i had caused. After I had done that he asked if we could start over. Become better friends again. I agreed....I didn't think I should be sorry because I hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe thats just me being bitter from being hurt so many times. I took into consideration how he felt and started to feel guilty. I knew appologizing would be the best way to not lose one who used to be my best friend. Letting down your walls and lowering your pride may be one of the most important things you can do in life when it comes to any kind of a relationship. There are times when you have to admit that youre wrong. everybody makes mistakes so Never feel bad when you make one. Learn from it and dont regret it. Dont ever be afraid to say "Im sorry" or "I forgive you"