Music of the soul

Ok so today is my last day of summer. I tried to enjoy it. I spent part of my day with one of my skater friends. Then I spent some time with my mom :) But That's not what I wanted to talk about. I have a huge collection of cds. I just pop one in and listen to whatever comes on. The one that hit me the most and actualy made me scream is called Blurry by Puddle of Mud. This one usualy strikes me the most because one of my best friends, Cody Rowe, loves this song. a while ago maybe in either 6th or 5th grade, Cody and I started to talk and he brought up that song. He said he really loved it and told me to listen to it. The next day I did. I really did love the song. The best part is through 3 years I still love that song and mainly remember it because it reminds me of Cody. Cody's always been important to me which makes the value of the song increase 10x. Its amazing how certain things make you react because of what theyre connected to. I always connect my music to my friends but I think my connection with this song and Cody is the strongest one I have. I just think it's really cool and I hope Cody reads this :) YOUR ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS CODY! haha anyway

Please Pray for:

My family who is going through so much

Matthew Fabian (to heal up)

Every Freshmen going to have their first day tomorrow (including me :D)

For Meagan and the babies in Africa

And last but certainly not least Coach Hawleys Faith :)

THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!

GRRR! Ive been improving my vocals all summer (thats not the frustrating part) So ive been singing gospels that ive learned that are meant to be sung a cappella (no instrumentls just saprano alto tenor and bass vocals) And I never learned the name of the singers :( I really want to go buy a cd by the ones that i first heard of :o. The first song I heard that was sung a cappella was called running just to catch myself but it was like a school re-endishen by an a cappella group that visited WCS. Its also heard on the 6th grade (2007) graduation video at the end. I happend to suggest that song to Mrs.Tinkler and she put it in there :D I was so happy when I heard it. But I'm so frustrated because I can't figure out who they are. I'll i've got are the lyrics that I learned and the music from the graduation dvd. I wish I had more to go on. I really could use some help figuring out who they are because I really love their music. and it could help improve my vocals a lot. The best way that i improve my singing is by singing hymns and gospels that ive learned and evaluate what Ive done like my posture, my breathing, my vowel sounds, my pitch ect. all I've got for now is the songs that Ive grown up with. I just wish I knew who they were ._.

A good way to see things

I didn't have to great of a day today but I guess it's ok. I mean I felt like my friends didn't want me around and it kinda brought me down. I felt rejected. But you know theres always a positive side to the same story. I started to hang out with some of the younger kids that are my friends. I hung out in the choir room and saw them progress. It makes me happy to see how much theyve grown. I guess they kinda looked up to me. And to see them still enjoying their life and having a great time makes me think that they learned maybe a little bit of something from me. I was always upbeat and making jokes and smiling in school and I guess thats just a little bit contangeous. I cant take all the credit though. They also choose to be that way which is great. Im actually really proud of them. I hope they continue to use that same attitude throughout the whole school year. As for my older friends...well The ones that are the same age as me kinda didn't want me around. Where as others were a little bit more accepting. I have a friend at WCS thats a Junior and he looks out for me. Its really cool because I do the same for him. I really do miss my friends and teachers but I have so many more oppertunities at mt new school (Dobie). I wanted to persue my dreams and since I love my friends a lot they know I'm going to stay in contact with them. I needed to persue my dreams and the choir at Dobie is my shot. If I can I may even compete with them and that would make me really happy. As for other aspects of my life? Well I can handle them. I've got a lot of people looking out for me and thats the great part. No matter how many trials I go through I know there are people there for me. And of course God is always there to back me up. I get knocked down, but i get up again! Ain't nothing gonna keep me down :)

Appologizing and Forgiving

*sigh* my life can completely change within a week....Did you know that? Realizing that having the power to forgive is not something that should be overlooked. Being able to forgive makes you just as strong as someone who will admit what they have done and appologize. I don't know why but yesterday i told my ex (the one thats been bugging me) that I was sorry for any trouble i had caused. After I had done that he asked if we could start over. Become better friends again. I agreed....I didn't think I should be sorry because I hadn't done anything wrong. Maybe thats just me being bitter from being hurt so many times. I took into consideration how he felt and started to feel guilty. I knew appologizing would be the best way to not lose one who used to be my best friend. Letting down your walls and lowering your pride may be one of the most important things you can do in life when it comes to any kind of a relationship. There are times when you have to admit that youre wrong. everybody makes mistakes so Never feel bad when you make one. Learn from it and dont regret it. Dont ever be afraid to say "Im sorry" or "I forgive you"

Summer recap

I know I havent blogged all summer so i thought "Hey i cant sleep so I'll blog" well for starters i should catch up yeah? starting with June. I went out with a guy. first week he was gone with his family. 2nd week was a lot of fun. 3rd week..he hung out with his friends thats fine. 4th week. did the exact same thing.....he didnt spend time with me anymore. I asked him why he hadnt made time for me and he didnt know. i asked him why i was around he said he didnt know he also said i was no fun and clingy. I asked him why i was kept around again he said he didnt know. i asked him if he even had a reason as to why i should be his girlfriend. he said no. so i broke up with him. Before that went down my parents had decided to go through a trial period of seperation. they wanted my brother to go with my dad to the other side of town and wanted me to decide who to go with....i stayed with my mom and my brother stayed too. but on the night i had to make a desicion i called my boyfriend (whos my ex the one ive been talking about) crying and tried to tell him about it. he was laughing with his other friends. he didnt even care to pay any attention to me......it made me feel horrible. Oh have i mentioned that im on medicine? yeah my dad took me to the doctors who sent me to a phychiatrist who gave me medicine for depression. it helps level my stress. My brother argues with my mom constantly my dad lives alone in his new appartment my moms seeing another man while still married to my dad my brother isnt doing anything with his life and im the only one to see all the mistakes and i want to do something about it and it stresses me out even more so than i already am. to top it all off my ex (the one i was talking about) still bugs me. I made him a present for his birthday a couple days after we broke up. I couldnt leave my house so i asked him if he could come get it. He was at a friends house near my house. he said no and called me a crybaby. that got to me and i cried. he actually did stop by but didnt even say thank you. He still dislkes me but contacts me through text messaging. still being mean. he says he dislikes me for certain reasons (reasons which are just human error that i have actually overcome) and I'm tired of it. i have so much stress! I felt lke a jerk today because i forgot about party my friend had...i went to the movies with my brother in stead and it wasnt too great...i felt so bad and pathetic...and now my ex is bugging me making it worse. i just need God as a guidence...ive gne through so much and school starts soon so the stress i guess is just starting :( please...I need help :(