I'm terribly impatient

Yes I said it! I am indeed losing my patience. I'm waiting on a guy that I really like to get back into Houston! I'm losing patience with certain friends at school whom act like a jerk towards me. I'm losing my patience with all the Drama! Gah! But I'm working on it :). I have a friend that tells me everything about the guy I like. He's said some really sweet things about me. Plus He thinks almost exactly like me. He's funny and sweet. He cares for me :). She always talk to him and he always brings me up. She wants us to be together. I want to go out with him lol. But I just have to wait.
I have a couple of friends that are fighting over little things and they're both my bedst friends. I try to make them stop but when will they ever listen to me? Who knows.
On the upside, I have written my song and now need a tune so I can perform it in Social studies :) I'm sure there'll be some great acts to be seen :)
Today's McGee and Me was really cool. I was really scared when Nick's dad was on the edge of the cliff. I was thinking to myself "Help him already! He's your dad!". I heard everyone else laughing and that kinda made me mad but you know, that how they are.
My blogs just short and simple today now heres an added bonus:
Pray for:
Mr. Semanek and his family
All at WCS who tried out for HSPVA
Those who went on the TCIST trip to have a safe trip
Meagan and the babies she looks after in Africa
My friend Destiny who'se having some hard times in life
Pray for my brother Michael
Pray that I have more patience
And last but certainly not least pray that Coach Hawly has more faith :)

My Epiphany/ Life

My Gosh! I had an epiphany on thursday! Or was it wednesday? I don't remember *laughs* but anyway! My epiphany is about a guy as usual -_-' But it's good! Ahhh I finaly have found a guy. Well I found him a year ago but ok. Yeah it's the one whom I wrote about breaking my heart. Well It turn out he didn't mean to hurt me. PLUS, he has never said a bad thing about me. He talks to a couple of my friends and they have told me all the nice things he's said about me. I really did care a lot about him. I never stopped thinking about him and I just wanted him happy. If any of my friends read this will know whom I am to be speaking of. Just don't down me for it ok? I forgave him and he still cares for me a lot. He's just out of town right now. He's comming back in April though :). Well a couple days after my epiphany, there are a couple of guys (My ex and his friend) that came up to the mall when I was there. my ex's friend was being a jerk to me and a couple of my friends and it made me mad. When I told him I was writing a song I got this vibe from him (I can read people) that just screamed "So? I'm way better than you and could probably write better songs than you too" (He's also a musician but that doesn't give him a right to feel like that) I felt so horrible that I just wanted to stop writing the song but a lot of people liked my lyrics. My ex was really nice to me though :). At least we can still be friends :). Ahhhh I've gotta go do my algebra homework....(Don't tell Mrs. Shannon though! I will finish tonight I promise!)

Why do I have so much to do?

I was thinking again today. that =bad! I'll get to that later. Today I realized how much is going on in my life. I try to persue my dreams (HSPVA is the first step to becoming a singer if anything), while juggling relationships (no not boyfriend kind of relationships.) I try and make all my friends happy and try to make them laugh (for some it's harder than others), and I never get to see my brother because he's always at work. Then I have homework that I don't understand half of the time. Plus I wish I could find a guy that I could willingly like and they like me back. *sigh* so much work is to be done. I'm going to miss my friends tomorrow though because of the science olympiad trip. half of my close friends are going and the other half make class interesting. Plus I'm falling for one of the guys going on the trip and it's gonna make me sad when he's not at school @_@. To top it all of I don't understand algebra. PLUS i've got to continue to practice for HSPVA.......Hey, I just remembered that I love my parents :) I talked to my dad about school and he listened, analized, and told me what he thought like my own personal phyciatrist. :) It's so easy to talk to my father. he gave me advice and talked me through it. And when I'm at school and I don't have them to talk to, I talk to my friends :) they don't really give advice but they listen :) ehhhh I've got to go to bed now. BYE!

I Should Not Be Allowed To Think

I was in my usual mood this morning. Grouchy and tired. Then I started to listen to my music. Automatic memory activator ON! i started to think about a lot of things. Then I got to the song My December by Linkin Park. "Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed" is one of the lines. I remember when my last boyfriend broke up with me (A month ago right before valentines day and my HSPVA auditon). I was crushed and felt like it was my fault. He said he broke up with me because he didn't feel anything. That might've been because he was grounded from me and we never got to see each other and whenever he got an opertunity to see me he never took it. I have had so much trouble with relationships. What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? My Ex and I had been together for almost 7 months and thanks to the break up, it's going to take me a while to get into another relationship. Everytime I even get close to another guy romanticaly, I think of my Ex. It still hurts but time heals all wounds right? Now that I've said most of my problems I just want to notice others. I wish I could help people in diferent cities, states, countries, Continants! I want to help all of those in need, like those in Africa. Or just homeless people on our streets! I wish we still did the clothing and food drive :( We collected a lot and helpped a lot of people. That's why Im going to raise as much I can for Honduras! :) And it's not only those kids but kids in our society who have major depression and need someone there for them! I give great advice and put myself in their shoes, and I really want to be a therapist when I grow up to help them. (I'll be the first singer/actress/writer/therapist). Love makes the world go round :) start with one person at a time. Life's not about waiting for the storm cloud to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain (My quote :)) "And I'd give it all away. Just to have somewhere to go to. GIve it all away. To have someone to come home to" -Linkin Park (special thanks to Coach Hawly for helping all of his students and being encouraging and praying for everyone! Plus I always learn something in his class and always feel better after that class)

My heartbreak story

Remember the last post I had? Yeah Ummm I met this guy. I really liked him. He was cute and funny and a nice person. He had a girlfriend though. Plus I thought he was 17. So I just kept time. I would hang out with him and be happy just to be with him. I tried all I could to make him happy. He wasn't happy. His girlfriend was putting him through so much stuff. He started to cut himself and I just couldn't take that. I tried helping him out. I didn't know what to do though. I was there for him when he needed me. He soon broke up with his girlfriend. I was glad he broke up with her if it just made him worse to be with her. He needed someone to mend his wounds. I was there for him and he automaticaly became attatched to me. I didn't want to ask him out right away (partially hoping that he'd ask me out but mostly because he could still be messed up from his previous girlfriend) We continued to hangout and I met some really cool people through him that I'm still connected to today. After the school year ended, I gathered up enough courage to ask him out (I was disapointed that he didn't ask me out though) He accepted. It didn't last long. In the next 3 days he said his mom was going to make him move to tokyo. I was crushed. I couldn't stand it. All I could do the day I found out was cry with my friends. He left that night and the following days I cried. I was so deep in sorrow and pain. And it didn't help that my brother was infatuated with someone. A couple of days into that week I got a message on the internet from that guy. He said he was comming home. I was so gleeful. I couldn't wait until the weekend. He came back but he was only going to be in town for 3 days. I felt the sadness drag me back down. I spent every moment I could with him. The day that he was schedualed to leave he texted me from his friends phone to tell me that he could stay. I started to cry happily! I couldn't believe it, but I prayed for this. I kept thanking the Lord over and over again. That didn't last either. He messaged me on myspace saying that we needed to break up but he would still love me. I felt rejected. He said it was because he was having trouble at home. I understood but I felt shot down. then a week later I met another guy who just liked to flirt with me. I liked them for a time but i was still in love with the first guy. The day before I left, The 1st guy, the 2nd guy and a few of my friends got together and played some games. the 2nd one kept flirting with me and the 1st one was jealous even though he technicaly wasnt my boyfriend. He texted me the next morning asking how I could like someone and still love him. Yeah I liked the guy but it wasn't going to go anywhere. I loved the 1st guy! >_< I talked it out with the 1st guy and we were finaly good. Next thing Im leaving on my trip. before I left I called the 1st guy and he told me to have a safe trip and that he loved me. I was so home sick on that trip. I missed my family friends, and that guy. I got home and was tired (jetlag mind you i was gone for almost a month) The next day I find out the guy that I fell in love with has a girlfriend..........He told me he was 15 at first....but I found out he was really 17. He had never been to Tokyo. He hurt me so many times and didn't even care.............I had to have time to have my wounds healed. I just keep thinking of him though. You can't really leave a memory that has that sort of impact behind. *sigh* but at least it doesn't hurt when I think about it anymore. That's just one of the obsticles I had to overcome. (This blog is waaaay tooo long)

another walk down memory lane

wow sound and music isn't the only thing that triggers my nostalgia..... I realized that today. There's always someone at my school wearing some sort of cologne. Some wear Axe. Some wear Tag (I dont get the difference) and some wear Bod. There are different scents but the one in the black bottle is the one I picked out today and Friday. My friend had it and I caught a whiff of it. Just barely sensing it set off all these memories I had. I went crazy! I love that smell. One because it smells good and two because when I smelled that smell it was of one of my friends that I was always happy with. I looked back on all the time we had spent together. He had broken my heart though. I was quick to forgive. I can't hate people. It's just not who I am. I love everyone :D. I should blog the story tommorrow, considering I've been thinking about him from the smell @_@ *laughs* Then later today I realized how complicated and crazy my gender is. I have two friends that just don't get along (both being girls) Yet they are sooooo similar! I don't get it. *sigh* I'll try and help them patch things up yet again. Im extremely nervous about HSPVA and I hope I get in =) that was completely off topic and random =D well that's enough XP BYE!